Wow, sorry it has taken me so long to post anything. I have had a few complications with getting to the internet and then with getting on my e-mail at all. I'll try to write a lot to make up for it:)
Ok, there are two big things on my mind right now. Number one is about my DTS' plan about going to Kenya for outreach. This has been planned since before things got to the place they are right now. The Lord spoke very clearly to our staff that He was calling us to go there. After they announced it to us and we began praying about a number of the students also got confirmation about it. I was praying about it one time and I very clearly sensed God take my left hand and write Kenya across my palm. Ever since then I have heard over and over that our class was not to go with a spirit of fear or trembling. We just had a meeting with the base leadership about the issue because they are all seeking God about whether to send us there or not. The situation is not good at the moment. The base where we would be staying,Athi River, is in a relatively secure area and is not a big concern but the main problem is getting there. We cannot afford to fly so we are going by bus. The only two routes to take go through western Kenya where there is no security. Our leadership has given us all until this Friday to pray and hear from God about going.They are doing the same. One thing they are sure about is that we must go in unity; all 14 of the students and the 2 staff members going need to know that God is calling them to go to Kenya this March. Sooo, any and all prayers in this matter would be great!
The other thing is my friend Selassie. I have written about him before although not for some time. Mainly because I have not seen him in a over a month. The many attempts Laura and I have made to meet with him have not worked. The past week for some reason he has been constantly on my mind; perhaps because we are leaving soon and I could potentially never see him again which bothers me. I don't remember how much I shared about how we became friends. At first glance it would seem rather unlikely. Selassie is a hard-core, reggae-loving Rwandese guy who has a problem with authority because of his past. Crazily enough I have never met someone who reminded me so much of myself a few years ago. Our personalities are very similar; especially how we react to things. We called each other impanga wanjye (my twin). God used the surprising similarities to allow Sel to open up to people finally but after he left DTS he has been even more closed off. Last night during class I suddenly felt a strong pressing need to pray for him. It was like it was being drummed into my head...Pray for Selassie. Now. Pray for Selassie. Now. I pulled two friends aside to pray for him after class and found out that Kate had gotten the same strong need to pray for him at the same time. I don't know what is going on, where he is, or if I will see him again but I trust that my God knows it all. This is my prayer for Selassie as well; that he will be able to believe that God loves him intensely and intimately. That He has never ever left him through all the horrific and frustrating times in his life and that through the power of Jesus we are able to see the bad turned to good.
It will be sad for me to leave Rwanda next month even if I do get to go to Kenya. I have discovered something powerful and peaceful while I was here. I am in love with Jesus Christ. I love Him. Despite growing up in a Christian home and having all sorts of head knowledge about Jesus it has taken me years to reach this point. And get this, He let me take as long as I needed! I have not shared much to many people about the years I spent really struggling and it would take too long to go into them now but I'll just say there were times I did not feel God cared about me at all. I didn't think anyone did because all I could see was pain. It is incredible to look back and see how much bigger God is than our feelings. No matter what I felt at that time He was always there with me and always will be.
My time in west Africa changed my perspective of who God is. He took my Christian girl, middle-class American, view of Him and blew it pieces in Liberia. What I knew didn't alter in truth it just widened in scope. I got to see the God of Liberia who is able to redeem. My time in Rwanda has changed my view of Jesus. I will never look at Him the same again. I couldn't possibly not love this God-man who took the sins of the entire genocide onto Himself on the cross. The things that people did to one another here He took responsibility for so that we might have life. I cannot even adequately begin to understand the weight of what He bore. Because of Rwanda I will always remember Jesus.
I really should be going for now. I will try to write again soon. I love you all!
Isimbi Johanna
Ok, there are two big things on my mind right now. Number one is about my DTS' plan about going to Kenya for outreach. This has been planned since before things got to the place they are right now. The Lord spoke very clearly to our staff that He was calling us to go there. After they announced it to us and we began praying about a number of the students also got confirmation about it. I was praying about it one time and I very clearly sensed God take my left hand and write Kenya across my palm. Ever since then I have heard over and over that our class was not to go with a spirit of fear or trembling. We just had a meeting with the base leadership about the issue because they are all seeking God about whether to send us there or not. The situation is not good at the moment. The base where we would be staying,Athi River, is in a relatively secure area and is not a big concern but the main problem is getting there. We cannot afford to fly so we are going by bus. The only two routes to take go through western Kenya where there is no security. Our leadership has given us all until this Friday to pray and hear from God about going.They are doing the same. One thing they are sure about is that we must go in unity; all 14 of the students and the 2 staff members going need to know that God is calling them to go to Kenya this March. Sooo, any and all prayers in this matter would be great!
The other thing is my friend Selassie. I have written about him before although not for some time. Mainly because I have not seen him in a over a month. The many attempts Laura and I have made to meet with him have not worked. The past week for some reason he has been constantly on my mind; perhaps because we are leaving soon and I could potentially never see him again which bothers me. I don't remember how much I shared about how we became friends. At first glance it would seem rather unlikely. Selassie is a hard-core, reggae-loving Rwandese guy who has a problem with authority because of his past. Crazily enough I have never met someone who reminded me so much of myself a few years ago. Our personalities are very similar; especially how we react to things. We called each other impanga wanjye (my twin). God used the surprising similarities to allow Sel to open up to people finally but after he left DTS he has been even more closed off. Last night during class I suddenly felt a strong pressing need to pray for him. It was like it was being drummed into my head...Pray for Selassie. Now. Pray for Selassie. Now. I pulled two friends aside to pray for him after class and found out that Kate had gotten the same strong need to pray for him at the same time. I don't know what is going on, where he is, or if I will see him again but I trust that my God knows it all. This is my prayer for Selassie as well; that he will be able to believe that God loves him intensely and intimately. That He has never ever left him through all the horrific and frustrating times in his life and that through the power of Jesus we are able to see the bad turned to good.
It will be sad for me to leave Rwanda next month even if I do get to go to Kenya. I have discovered something powerful and peaceful while I was here. I am in love with Jesus Christ. I love Him. Despite growing up in a Christian home and having all sorts of head knowledge about Jesus it has taken me years to reach this point. And get this, He let me take as long as I needed! I have not shared much to many people about the years I spent really struggling and it would take too long to go into them now but I'll just say there were times I did not feel God cared about me at all. I didn't think anyone did because all I could see was pain. It is incredible to look back and see how much bigger God is than our feelings. No matter what I felt at that time He was always there with me and always will be.
My time in west Africa changed my perspective of who God is. He took my Christian girl, middle-class American, view of Him and blew it pieces in Liberia. What I knew didn't alter in truth it just widened in scope. I got to see the God of Liberia who is able to redeem. My time in Rwanda has changed my view of Jesus. I will never look at Him the same again. I couldn't possibly not love this God-man who took the sins of the entire genocide onto Himself on the cross. The things that people did to one another here He took responsibility for so that we might have life. I cannot even adequately begin to understand the weight of what He bore. Because of Rwanda I will always remember Jesus.
I really should be going for now. I will try to write again soon. I love you all!
Isimbi Johanna
3 comments:
Johanna, it's so encouraging to read!!! I'll be praying!
oh my JBB..Johanna
GOd is faithful, and HE will continue to show you more of Him, He will fill your thirst and hunger. All He need is for you to dwell in Him. I am bless to know You are letting Him lead you in the other part of His LOVE.
love ya and will still be praying.
Hi Johanna,
I've been reading your blog faithfully and am so touched by your words! Know that you are being prayed for by many and we're trusting for your continued safety. I've been emailing with Pastor Theophile in Kigali, how long will you be there again?!? Talk to you soon! We love ya!!
Lisa
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